Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
