Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
then he tried to convert me to islam
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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