i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
