Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
