Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
