DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
