I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm really busy with my period
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