I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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