found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
