He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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