Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
