I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
