Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
