Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
