its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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