Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
