They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Houston, we have a blender
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
