she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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