We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
