Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
