Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
