I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
