when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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