i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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