The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
