her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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