i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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