She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
