I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
