halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
