I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
