I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
