I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize