The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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