i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
