I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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