The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
