I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My balls are so social today.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
