Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
