Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
