that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize