He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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