i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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