its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
