Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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