I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
