So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
