i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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