If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
