i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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