Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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