Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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