Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
