O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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