do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
