Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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