Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
