The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I need a beard to bite.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
