sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
