so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
